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I Hope I’m Still Here

I know you left 
out of self preservation

I know I’m not a mere spark

I’m a raging hellfire
All consuming
All the time

You had to save yourself
Before turning to ash
A pillar of salt
And mourning

What you don’t know
Is I’m also Joy

I’m your happiness incarnate
All inspiring
All the time

We could have saved each other.

You’ll never know that
My midnight hair,
smells like black vanilla
My bronze skin, 
Is roasted sweet apples in the autumn

You’ll never know that
One dimple in my cheek
Is deeper than the other
Or that my top lip
Covets the left side of my face

You’ll never know
My tongue sneaks out like a teenager in the dark
when I concentrate
Or that I create whole hushed stories with my gestures

That I do a happy dance when
I taste nirvana
And sleep like a starfish
wrapped in the depths of a furious sea

You’ll never know
The pale stones of my fingernails
Or how perfectly my diminutive hands
Fit into yours

Either I’ll be here when you realize you want me
Or I won’t

Read by me:

Published by AGirlDelighted

Why don't you come to my house? Why don't you drag me right out? Past all the shit that I said, I'm saying Why don't you cut up my mouth? And I don't care what you use Just don't ask me to choose I forced a field to allow you That's not so easy to do I said, I said what I said I want you to help me (Oh) Surrender, rend it, it's yours Out in the open We're wide open (Oh) Surrender, rend it, it's yours Locked in a body In love with the process of... Surrender, rend it, it's yours Out in the open We're wide open Night light comes into my room Some shade of bruise-colored blue Moves through my mind like a chemical Imbalance on schedule Rend It by Fugazi

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